diff --git a/headroom/proxy/hard_watchdog.py b/headroom/proxy/hard_watchdog.py
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..a04816c26
--- /dev/null
+++ b/headroom/proxy/hard_watchdog.py
@@ -0,0 +1,103 @@
+"""Last-resort liveness watchdog that survives a held GIL.
+
+The in-process compression watchdogs bound slow work with timed thread joins,
+which quietly assumes the GIL keeps changing hands: resuming from a timed
+``join`` needs the GIL, so a native call that computes without releasing it
+freezes every Python thread at once -- uvicorn, ``/readyz``, logging, and the
+very watchdog meant to bound the offender. Field report: 61+ seconds of
+full-process silence at three times the compression deadline, TCP backlog
+still accepting connections nothing would ever answer (#3178).
+
+``faulthandler.dump_traceback_later`` is the one escape hatch the interpreter
+offers: its timer runs on a C thread that never takes the GIL, and on expiry
+it writes every thread's stack with signal-safe code and (optionally) hard
+exits. A Python heartbeat thread re-arms the timer while the interpreter is
+healthy; if the GIL is seized for longer than the deadline, the heartbeat
+cannot re-arm and the C timer fires -- naming the culprit stack in stderr
+(the proxy log) and ending a process that was already unable to serve
+anything. Supervised deployments restart it; unsupervised ones trade an
+eternal zombie that hangs every client for a visible crash with a diagnosis.
+
+The deadline is deliberately generous (90s against a 20s compression
+deadline and 15s stats timeouts): this must only ever fire when the process
+is beyond every softer recovery path.
+"""
+
+from __future__ import annotations
+
+import atexit
+import faulthandler
+import logging
+import os
+import sys
+import threading
+import time
+
+logger = logging.getLogger(__name__)
+
+ENV_VAR = "HEADROOM_HARD_WATCHDOG_SECS"
+DEFAULT_SECS = 90.0
+# Below this the heartbeat interval (a third of the deadline) gets close to
+# scheduler jitter and a busy-but-healthy interpreter could be shot.
+MIN_SECS = 5.0
+
+_started = threading.Event()
+
+
+def _resolve_secs() -> float:
+    raw = os.environ.get(ENV_VAR, "")
+    if not raw.strip():
+        return DEFAULT_SECS
+    try:
+        secs = float(raw)
+    except ValueError:
+        logger.warning("Ignoring non-numeric %s=%r; using %ss", ENV_VAR, raw, DEFAULT_SECS)
+        return DEFAULT_SECS
+    if secs <= 0:
+        return 0.0
+    return max(secs, MIN_SECS)
+
+
+def _arm(secs: float) -> None:
+    # Re-arming replaces the previous timer, so a healthy interpreter never
+    # lets it expire. ``file`` is the underlying stderr fd, which supervisors
+    # already redirect into the proxy log.
+    faulthandler.dump_traceback_later(secs, exit=True, file=sys.stderr)
+
+
+def _heartbeat(secs: float) -> None:
+    while True:
+        time.sleep(secs / 3.0)
+        _arm(secs)
+
+
+def start_hard_watchdog() -> bool:
+    """Arm the watchdog for this process. Returns True when armed.
+
+    Per-process by design: uvicorn workers each arm their own (the timer and
+    the GIL are both process-local). Safe to call more than once.
+    """
+    if _started.is_set():
+        return True
+    secs = _resolve_secs()
+    if not secs:
+        logger.info("Hard watchdog disabled (%s=0)", ENV_VAR)
+        return False
+    _started.set()
+    # Normal interpreter shutdown must not be shot by a timer armed moments
+    # earlier; CPython additionally cancels the C thread during finalization.
+    atexit.register(faulthandler.cancel_dump_traceback_later)
+    # First arm happens here, synchronously: the caller is covered from the
+    # moment this returns, even if the very next call seizes the GIL before
+    # the heartbeat thread gets scheduled.
+    _arm(secs)
+    threading.Thread(
+        target=_heartbeat, args=(secs,), name="headroom-hard-watchdog", daemon=True
+    ).start()
+    logger.info(
+        "Hard watchdog armed: dump all stacks and exit if the interpreter "
+        "makes no progress for %.0fs (%s to tune, 0 to disable)",
+        secs,
+        ENV_VAR,
+    )
+    return True
diff --git a/headroom/proxy/server.py b/headroom/proxy/server.py
index f90b082ee..385d11f63 100644
--- a/headroom/proxy/server.py
+++ b/headroom/proxy/server.py
@@ -2644,6 +2644,14 @@ def create_app(config: ProxyConfig | None = None) -> FastAPI:
 
     @asynccontextmanager
     async def lifespan(app: FastAPI):  # type: ignore[no-untyped-def]
+        # Arm the C-level liveness watchdog before anything that can touch
+        # native code: a GIL seized during startup freezes the process just as
+        # thoroughly as one seized while serving (#3178). Per worker, because
+        # the timer and the GIL are both process-local.
+        from headroom.proxy.hard_watchdog import start_hard_watchdog
+
+        start_hard_watchdog()
+
         # Hotfix-A0: Rust core deployment smoke test. Refuse to accept
         # traffic if the Rust extension is missing unless the operator
         # explicitly opted out with HEADROOM_REQUIRE_RUST_CORE=false. See
diff --git a/tests/test_hard_watchdog.py b/tests/test_hard_watchdog.py
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..33c6bc18c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/tests/test_hard_watchdog.py
@@ -0,0 +1,106 @@
+"""The hard watchdog must fire under a held GIL -- the case nothing else survives.
+
+The proxy's soft watchdogs (timed thread joins, asyncio timeouts) all need the
+GIL to act, so a native call that computes without releasing it freezes the
+process beyond their reach (#3178: 61+ seconds of full-process silence at three
+times the compression deadline). ``faulthandler.dump_traceback_later``'s timer
+is a C thread that never takes the GIL; these tests pin the two properties the
+design depends on:
+
+* a process whose GIL is seized past the deadline is dumped and exited, and
+* a healthy process re-arms the timer and is never shot.
+
+The GIL seizure is simulated with ``ctypes.PyDLL`` -- unlike ``CDLL``, calls
+through it do NOT release the GIL, so ``libc sleep()`` becomes a perfect stand
+-in for a native call that holds the interpreter hostage.
+"""
+
+from __future__ import annotations
+
+import subprocess
+import sys
+import textwrap
+
+import pytest
+
+from headroom.proxy.hard_watchdog import DEFAULT_SECS, MIN_SECS, _resolve_secs
+
+
+def test_resolve_secs_defaults_and_clamps(monkeypatch):
+    monkeypatch.delenv("HEADROOM_HARD_WATCHDOG_SECS", raising=False)
+    assert _resolve_secs() == DEFAULT_SECS
+
+    monkeypatch.setenv("HEADROOM_HARD_WATCHDOG_SECS", "0")
+    assert _resolve_secs() == 0.0
+    monkeypatch.setenv("HEADROOM_HARD_WATCHDOG_SECS", "-3")
+    assert _resolve_secs() == 0.0
+
+    # A deadline near scheduler jitter would shoot healthy processes.
+    monkeypatch.setenv("HEADROOM_HARD_WATCHDOG_SECS", "1")
+    assert _resolve_secs() == MIN_SECS
+
+    monkeypatch.setenv("HEADROOM_HARD_WATCHDOG_SECS", "not-a-number")
+    assert _resolve_secs() == DEFAULT_SECS
+
+
+_SEIZE_GIL = textwrap.dedent(
+    """
+    import ctypes, ctypes.util, sys
+    from headroom.proxy.hard_watchdog import start_hard_watchdog
+
+    assert start_hard_watchdog()
+    libc = ctypes.PyDLL(ctypes.util.find_library("c"))
+    print("SEIZING", flush=True)
+    libc.sleep(60)  # PyDLL: the GIL is held for the whole call
+    print("UNREACHABLE", flush=True)
+    """
+)
+
+_HEALTHY = textwrap.dedent(
+    """
+    import time
+    from headroom.proxy.hard_watchdog import start_hard_watchdog
+
+    assert start_hard_watchdog()
+    time.sleep(12)  # well past the 5s deadline; sleep releases the GIL
+    print("SURVIVED", flush=True)
+    """
+)
+
+
+@pytest.mark.skipif(sys.platform == "win32", reason="libc lookup is POSIX-only")
+def test_seized_gil_is_dumped_and_exited():
+    proc = subprocess.run(
+        [sys.executable, "-c", _SEIZE_GIL],
+        env={"HEADROOM_HARD_WATCHDOG_SECS": "5", "PATH": "/usr/bin:/bin"},
+        capture_output=True,
+        text=True,
+        timeout=40,
+    )
+    assert "UNREACHABLE" not in proc.stdout
+    # faulthandler's timeout path exits the process abnormally...
+    assert proc.returncode != 0
+    # ...after writing every thread's stack to stderr, naming the culprit.
+    assert "Thread 0x" in proc.stderr or "Current thread" in proc.stderr
+    assert "sleep" in proc.stderr or "SEIZING" in proc.stdout
+
+
+@pytest.mark.skipif(sys.platform == "win32", reason="keep the pair symmetric")
+def test_healthy_process_is_never_shot():
+    proc = subprocess.run(
+        [sys.executable, "-c", _HEALTHY],
+        env={"HEADROOM_HARD_WATCHDOG_SECS": "5", "PATH": "/usr/bin:/bin"},
+        capture_output=True,
+        text=True,
+        timeout=40,
+    )
+    assert proc.returncode == 0, proc.stderr
+    assert "SURVIVED" in proc.stdout
+
+
+def test_disabled_by_env(monkeypatch):
+    monkeypatch.setenv("HEADROOM_HARD_WATCHDOG_SECS", "0")
+    from headroom.proxy import hard_watchdog
+
+    monkeypatch.setattr(hard_watchdog, "_started", type(hard_watchdog._started)())
+    assert hard_watchdog.start_hard_watchdog() is False